billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - august 22, 2015 (VIDEO)

So this happened. Dear god, this episode took so long to finish...

Okay, next up it's going to get dark with Chelsea Wolfe, so stay tuned!

billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - august 22, 2015

...I'm starting to think the summer lull is a complete load of shit. Because right after another fairly reasonable week, we get one of the most crazy weeks I've seen in a while. Major shifts up and down, a considerable chunk of new songs, and new top ten debuts, and even a new number one! And while some of it I could reasonably predict - the One Direction debut was no surprise - I wasn't expecting the return of the Drake show or the arrival of a slew of Disney songs! I mean, seriously, what the hell is going on?

billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - december 6, 2014 (VIDEO)

Man, this video took a lot of work...

Okay, next up... shit, I need a break. Let me think about this one. Either way, stay tuned!

billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - december 6, 2014

For our full-length debut episode of Billboard BREAKDOWN, we actually have a pretty damn busy week on our hands, as it's the start of the Christmas season - which means in addition to our usual chart circulation, we also get a deluge of Christmas songs. Now I normally, by rule, never talk about Christmas music and albums, mostly because it never evolves or changes beyond a very standard formula - until now, mostly because the highest debuting song on the list is a Christmas song - from YouTubers too!

video review: 'four' by one direction

Well, this could have been a lot worse. Not great, but decent enough.

Oh Christ, it's Nickelback next. Stay tuned folks, this week is going to get... well, interesting...

album review: 'four' by one direction

Okay, let's try this again.

By now most people who have watched this channel are well aware of my feelings on the British boy band One Direction when I reviewed their last album Midnight Memories. Basically, I'm not a fan, partially because I found their blatant appropriation of classic rock and hair metal songs to be in bad taste especially when they couldn't back it up, and I found their lyrical contributions to be less than savory and frequently creepy. In other words, I wasn't a fan, and I raised the question why any of their fans could like them beyond stereotypical boy band charm, especially when The Wanted and The Backstreet Boys dropped markedly better albums that same year. All of that being said, there was one legitimately great song on Midnight Memories with 'Diana' and the fact they pushed the amateurish and clumsy 'Story Of My Life' over that song is baffling to me.

But now a full year has passed, and the pop landscape is in a very different place than when One Direction dropped Midnight Memories last year. The charts have made a major shift from pop towards R&B and soul, even in the UK, and while The Wanted have effectively gone nowhere, One Direction does face real competition from 5 Seconds To Summer, who I've already covered twice this year and who actually dropped a decent self-titled album. And with the band taking over significantly more writing credits, I was prepared to cut One Direction a bit of slack - mostly because I remember what happened about thirteen years ago the last time R&B took over from the boy bands, and since One Direction are signed to Simon Cowell's Syco Records, I have no illusions surrounding the band's potential shelf life.

In other words, I was inclined to be charitable when I checked out their new album Four - did it surprise me?

video review: 'midnight memories' by one direction

Well, I did it. Cue fanrage from everyone. But I didn't get into this without being honest, and I was here.

Next up... honestly, it'll either be Rhapsody of Fire or Kellie Pickler, we'll see.

album review: 'midnight memories' by one direction

There comes a time in every boy band's 'evolution' that they want to take their brand in a different direction from the typical pre-packaged pop music that made them stars. They might want to come across as darker, or edgier, or experiment with new instrumental directions or styles. It's often the first tentative step towards artistic freedom, and it's also the step that tends to either make or break boy bands. 

Let's consider the 90s boy bands and for an example, we'll talk about N'Sync and The Backstreet Boys. The latter band decided to go in a darker direction with Black & Blue, which arguably handled the transition better by opting to stick to the pop template and just play with a darker tone and energy, and, for the most part, it worked. But then again, it would take the Backstreet Boys five years to create another album, and by that point they switched genres towards adult contemporary and pop rock. The much bleaker story comes from N'Sync, who jumped onto the slick R&B bandwagon with Celebrity in 2011 - and then imploded. They went on hiatus and since Justin Timberlake's solo career took off, they never reunited, but I place most of the blame on that final album, mostly because it was only a half-hearted step towards a genre into which the band was an awkward fit. Note the difference between the two bands here: one stuck within the same genre but changed the tone, the other switched genres and fell apart.

So what should we expect from One Direction, the mega-selling boy band titan that currently rules the hearts of teenage girls everywhere? Honestly, I don't know what to expect, because having listened through both of their previous albums and watched that godawful movie (which only notable for wasting Morgan Spurlock's talent as a director), I still don't have a feel for the unique personalities behind the band. I guess some could make the argument that Harry Styles is going to become the Justin Timberlake and use One Direction as his N'Sync, but I find that hard to believe given Timberlake was at least a potent songwriter on his own and Styles doesn't really have that solo songwriting presence (both Liam and Louis have more songwriting credits). 

The other big problem is that none of these kids have ever impressed me with raw personality or charisma or talent in the way Justin Timberlake did, and while I can now tell them apart, I have yet to detect enough vocal distinctiveness to determine personalities outside of 'the cute one' in the boy band template. Yeah, it's time for full disclosure, before going into this album, I've never liked One Direction. Their harmonies are bare-bones at best, their instrumentation and production (easily the best element of their material) can lack flavour at points, and their lyrics are godawful. I don't need to link The Colbert Report's dissection of 'What Makes You Beautiful' or the seduction-through-insult methodology behind 'Little Things', all of these lyrics make One Direction come across as pickup artists who target their material at the most vulnerable parts of the psyches of their teenage fanbase. And while I won't deny it works, it doesn't come across as romantic or authentic to me, because the material is so calculated and the band is devoid of unique personality between members. I'm not going to deny that The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync used a lot of the same formula, but at least the Backstreet Boys made 'The Call' and 'Perfect Fan' and 'Larger Than Life', and N'Sync made 'Pop' and 'Bye Bye Bye' and both bands built their brand on differentiations between the members both in sound and in style. And frankly, One Direction has neither, which made me think at first Midnight Memories might be a step in the wrong direction for the band. If they're going for pop rock the same way N'Sync went for R&B, they might be in a world of trouble. Was I right?