Wednesday, May 9, 2018

billboard BREAKDOWN - hot 100 - may 12, 2018

And now we have round two, the second record-breaking album bomb in as many weeks and one from an arguably worse record... and yet somehow it doesn't quite feel as big, at least to me. It's still sizable - we have eighteen new arrivals this week - but since the majority of it is Post Malone and I already reviewed the record and likely will have even less to say, it feels less noticeable overall. Or maybe I just feel better because at the end of June Billboard will be releasing new streaming rules that'll likely curtail some of this mess, but that's a story for another day.


For now, the top ten... and yet despite Post Malone's success, it wasn't enough to unseat 'Nice For What' by Drake at #1 - and yet again, its position is not incredibly strong, not dominant on radio or sales and only really on top thanks to streaming. And even then 'Psycho' by Post Malone and Ty Dolla $ign cut into that margin considerably as it rose to #2 on streaming and radio traction... but it just didn't have any real sales for that extra push. Compare this to 'God's Plan' by Drake, which yes, is mostly anchored by YouTube especially as its radio hit a hard peak, but it's got enough sales to only drop one spot to #3. And I'd argue that's also one of the reasons why 'Meant To Be' by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line held its own at #4 - thanks to good sales and sliding but dominant radio, it's not as impacted by the album bomb. Also the same case for 'The Middle' by Zedd, Maren Morris and Grey up to #5 - good sales and strong radio compensating for no real streaming, although it also peaked in airplay and will probably start falling soon. This makes it vulnerable to our first new top ten entry: 'Never Be The Same' by Camila Cabello at #6, buoyed by a remix with Kane Brown on sales and good radio to break in and block the second new entry, this time from Post Malone: 'Better Now'. As always, we'll deal with the song itself later on but it got the most on-demand streaming and a modest amount of sales to crack #7. And right behind it is more Post Malone with 'rockstar' ft. 21 Savage back in the top 10 at #8, entirely thanks to a big streaming recovery. The last two entries aren't all that surprising: 'Look Alive' with BlocBoy JB and Drake at #9 thanks to residual airplay holding up weaker streaming and sales, and 'No Tears Left To Cry' by Ariana Grande slipping only to #10 off the debut thanks to streaming not quite fading and pretty solid sales and airplay growth - I'd expect this one to stick around.

On the flipside... man, it was another rough week in losers and dropouts, although you could make the argument that those in the latter category had it coming, with the long-overdue exits for 'Thunder' by Imagine Dragons, 'Feel It Still' by Portugal. The Man, and 'Let You Down' by NF. But really, the much bigger loser this week was J. Cole, so in addition to most of his album bomb falling off entirely, 'ATM' fell to 42, 'KOD' fell to 44, 'Kevin's Heart' went to 48, 'Motiv8' dropped to 71, '1985 (Intro To 'The Fall Off')' fell to 79, and 'Photograph' faded to 80. And it continued to be a bad week for Cardi B as well, as 'Bartier Cardi' with 21 Savage slid to 75, 'Ring' with Kehlani went to 86, and 'I Do' with SZA struggled at 89. But again, with Post Malone taking so much space in streaming he mostly served to drive back other songs in his own damn genre, with 'Plug Walk' by Rich The Kid down to 31, 'Esskeetit' by Lil Pump slipping to 51, 'Stir Fry' by Migos to 53, 'Japan' by Famous Dex to 55, 'King's Dead' by Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future and James Blake to 66, 'OTW' by Khalid, Ty Dolla $ign and 6LACK to 82, and both 'SAD!' and 'changes' by XXXTENTACION to 60 and 96 respectively. The rest... hell, the country entries seem to be decaying naturally as 'Most People Are Good' by Luke Bryan slides to 74 and 'I Lived It' by Blake Shelton to 91, and 'Zombie' by Bad Wolves is finally dying after being around too long at 88, but the real disappointment are the continued losses for 'Say Something' by Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton to 78 - this can happen with sustained album bombs, they start downward momentum that can't be stopped, and while it could have a few weeks to recover, it's likely too little, too late at this point.

And what gets exasperating is that our gains probably can't pick up the slack - and yes, we do have gains this week, survivors that can weather the tide like 'Dura' by Daddy Yankee rebounding to 54 or the continued radio pickups for 'Boo'd Up' by Ella Mai at 37, or awful new arrivals like 'Dame Tu Cosita' by El Chombo which picked up a ton of streaming up to 43, or the surge for 'Te Bote' by six reggaeton artists I don't feel like naming because the song is hot garbage. And then there's 'rockstar' breaking into the top ten, but the better story is that we actually got one returning entry with 'Candy Paint' by Post Malone at 34. Now I won't mince words here - it's been on the charts too long to get the points it needs, and it won't last where it is as the streaming fades away... but man, it's great to see it back.

But now onto Post Malone... but before we get to him in our new arrivals, we have...



85. 'Ye Vs. The People' by Kanye West ft. T.I. - so I want to make this abundantly clear: there has been entirely too much discourse surrounding Kanye's ignorant ramblings the past few weeks, and frankly, the less time and attention given to it the better... but now that it's crossed over into the music, with T.I. in tow to act as the disbelieving voice of reasons, it needs to be addressed... and this is about what I expected. A sample chopped up behind a single verse of T.I. and Kanye going back and forth, but it doesn't even touch on policy or what's actually being done in the name of the current administration, but rather about Kanye's impact on it. And as such T.I really doesn't get the chance to effectively call Kanye out on his dumbass attempt to 'reclaim' 'make America great again' or attempts at recontextualization that hold precisely zero water - and even when he does, it's very clear Kanye's not listening - for as much as he wants to unify, it's hard not to feel like he's just being a contrarian to drive up attention, all the while pairing it with one of the worst flows he's ever ridden! No, this is painfully clumsy, and if it wasn't for the fact that so many damn people worship Kanye regardless of what he says and does, this would have fizzled and not made the chart in the same way Joyner Lucas' 'I'm Not Racist' did, which had its own issues but was certainly better than this. In the mean time, there's a part of me that wants to see Lupe and Common take Kanye to the woodshed, but really, the best thing that could happen is for all of us to ignore him and move on- next!



77. 'Overdose' by YoungBoy Never Broke Again - you know, I would say I felt bad for YoungBoy having the misfortune of any possible breakthrough overrun by Post Malone... but that would imply any of his music was interesting or all that good, and I'm still not remotely convinced that's the case. So just like the last song it's a single extended verse, this time after an extended intro just over two minutes... and look, I'm still not impressed at all. Rhymes are flubbed when he even bothers to connect his awkward, jittery flow at all, extended bars about shooting people including a stretched metaphor of bullets for drugs and when he shoots them up they overdose - yeah, that's the wordplay we're dealing with here. And yeah, there's some griminess to the arranged instrumentation and piano behind the darker trap groove... but man, talk about a waste of a decent groove. Next?


(no video because Post Malone)

73. 'Jonestown (Interlude)' by Post Malone - okay, just like with J. Cole last week, my task will be keeping these Post Malone entries short - I reviewed the album at length, I recommend checking that out for more details. And just like last time we're starting with a song fragment, albeit a pretty one thanks to the wheedling guitar work flooding the desaturated mix and thrumming synths. And honestly, I don't mind Post Malone here - him succumbing to the vapid party amidst the cloud of vocal layers is one of the most believable things of his entire persona - shame all we get exploring it is three repeated phrases. 



62. 'Famous' by Mason Ramsey - so some of you might be wondering why I don't break out the meme review for this song... and I can't, I just can't. It's just genuinely sad to see this: a kid like Mason Ramsey who blew up based upon his yodeling on an old Hank Williams tune saddled with the producer from Florida Georgia Line to try and wring out as much cash as possible. And I can't blame him, mostly because Ramsey has the sort of energy and personality that could make him a genuine talent in a decade... and you give him the sort of blocky, forgettable bro-country track that might have a bit more pedal steel and banjo but still feels like any overproduced, second rate ballad album cut that nobody remembers or cares about a day later. I mean, come the hell on, the kid blew up thanks to his yodeling and you can even let him do that on this tepid pablum? Again, I'm not angry with Ramsey himself, folks clearly see talent and I do too - but man alive, he deserves so much better than this.


(no video because Post Malone)

57. 'Sugar Wraith' by Post Malone - so let me get this straight, we couldn't let Mason Ramsey yodel but we let Post Malone caterwaul over this with the cheap trap snares and weird beeping synth-inflected hook interpolating Sugar Ray? And really, by the time we get to that really clunky second verse, does anybody care about this song besides the Anthony Fantano reference - you know, the only person who will be relevant from this whole affair in five years? 


(no video because Post Malone)

47. 'Blame It On Me' by Post Malone - more warbling, a mix that's even more desaturated and miserable... and yet with every layer of watery autotune, I can't deny this is one of the more potent hooks on this record, if only for as warped as it gets. Shame that you eventually have to take a look at the lyrics where Post Malone is whining about fame and success and simultaneously taking the blame while professing at length it's not his fault... except on the bridge where he tries to backpeddle and say it is his fault after all. Frankly, I can agree with this - yes, Post Malone, it is your fault, now shut up about it.


(no video because Post Malone)

46. 'Otherside' by Post Malone - I've heard by some that this song might be partially inspired by the Red Hot Chili Peppers song of the same name - wouldn't that be better to listen instead of this beeping, desaturated misery with the flat glossy synths and Post Malone moaning post-breakup. And while it certainly feels as unpleasant as such an experience might be, it kind of loses the resonance when on the first chorus he references all the models he could be chasing instead instead of just wallowing in it... so yeah, I'm not there for this, at all.


(no video because Post Malone)

40. '92 Explorer' by Post Malone - so I have stated that after the Jonestown interlude, the album gets a little simpler, a little brighter, and a little better, and while 'Candy Paint' is the best example of this, '92 Explorer' is a close second for me - sharper synth work with that popping, watery beat until the trap groove clicks in, and a pretty bouncy hook overall. Granted, Post Malone trying to call anyone on jacking flows is more than a little rich, but that's a minor annoyance on a track that's too vapid to really care about anything else, and I can mostly groove with it - not bad.


(no video because Post Malone)

29. 'Takin' Shots' by Post Malone - so here's the thing with songs about getting this level of blackout drunk: normally, you want to say something to provide insight into your scene or you just have a miserable experience with such dark trap percussion and fuzzed out gurgling replacing any melody. And yet Post Malone seems to be trying to enjoy this party as he references sipping on Bud Light, hopping out frog like ribbit ribbit, not having any clue surrounding how many records he moved, and speaking drunkenese - and people think this guy is cool, really?


(no video because Post Malone)

24. 'Over Now' by Post Malone - so one element I didn't really expect going into beerbongs & bentleys was how angry it was going to try and be on songs like this with the sharper guitar groove and overblown drums. And let's put aside how he's ripping on this girl for being materialistic and vapid when on the first damn verse he references trading a girl for diamonds and a car and on the second praying for his Amex and gold, what gets more distracting is that for as much as Post Malone shouts about putting the bitch pussy in a body bag, he's hard to take seriously when he's warbling about being an idiot, or saying with his new bitch he's going to... help her out of his car - and he doesn't care if you don't like it! And you wonder why I don't respect this guy.


(no video because Post Malone)

23. 'Zack & Codeine' by Post Malone - seriously, I don't get why Post Malone even makes party songs if he's going to spend his prechoruses warbling about wanting to be left alone and then title his song 'Zack and Codeine' to spend the verses flexing - you're giving them coke, dude, if you're not having fun, you can just leave. And trust me dude, even if this song does have a little more bounce to it, nobody's expecting you to save their soul - they might expect you not to complain about people jacking your sound when you in fact stole it first - bit hypocritical there, don't you think?


(no video because Post Malone)

20. 'Same Bitches' by Post Malone ft. G-Eazy & YG - I'm starting to think that just like J. Cole, Post Malone should not make songs about women, because he comes across like a total asshole doing it. You're going to complain about the same Instagram models being at your parties and clubs and then accuse them of getting cash from their parents where if they have a million plus followers they're probably doing just fine, especially when you're not exactly cultivating a lifestyle in your songs that leads to long-term relationships! And sure, the hook is catchy courtesy of the pianos, but when you have G-Eazy then rapping about stealing the same type of girls and YG once again phoning it in, it just comes across as bitter in a really unpleasant way - might want to be careful, guys, or those girl aren't going to come around much longer.


(no video because Post Malone)

17. 'Stay' by Post Malone - ah yes, the acoustic ballad where Post Malone tries to delve into the messiness of a relationship and how even despite the drunken deflection she shouldn't expect him to really stay. Okay, the sentiment is there and I don't mind the electric guitar solo.. but then you get lines like how he's going to put her out of her misery or how this woman is putting her cigarette out on his face, and when you pair it with the shallowness of how Post Malone writes about women on nearly every other song here... just doesn't resonate the way it should, you know, just saying.


(no video because Post Malone)

16. 'Ball For Me' by Post Malone ft. Nicki Minaj - you'd think that if Post Malone would team up with Nicki Minaj he'd spring for percussion and synths that feel this undercooked and lacking any sense of groove, but really, that would imply there's much to this song at all. Post Malone flexes, comes to the realization he can't spend any more and then Nicki starts flexing but ends the track in a more melodic mold asking for Post Malone to buy her something. So what happened to not cutting him slack, Nicki, you could buy and sell this guy nearly ten times over, you really don't need to waste your time with this...


(no video because Post Malone)

15. 'Spoil My Night' by Post Malone ft. Swae Lee - again, I really don't understand why Post Malone makes miserable party songs - hell, outside of maybe Drake I don't get why anybody makes them, especially when they're not exactly insightful to delve deeper. And instead of Post Malone doing that, we have a badly tuned melody with gratuitously ugly autotune, Swae Lee phoning in his flexing, and Post Malone saying this girl rocks with him like Jumanji, has beautiful boobies, and then throws her away when she starts taking Instagram videos... because then his girl at home might find out. Again, why does anyone find this likable again?


(no video because Post Malone)

14. 'Rich & Sad' by Post Malone - see, songs like this are why I find Post Malone so grating - he jacks a style and sound that's not his own from hip-hop culture, dumps out the same vapid garbage in his content, gets famous, and still wants us to feel sorry for his complaining in the most boring, insufferable, and sometimes even incoherent way possible. Take this song with its cheap trap percussion and Post Malone wishing the money was enough to get this girl to stay... but if he threw all the money away, a.) there's no guarantee she'd come back, and b.) given how much you flex otherwise, I highly doubt the gesture has any weight. And even with that, he undercuts the emotional core by mentioning the sluts grabbing on his nuts - so no, Post Malone, no pity for you here.


(no video because Post Malone)

11. 'Paranoid' by Post Malone - I mentioned this prominently in my beerbongs & bentleys review, but this opener doesn't work for two main reasons. One, it requires us to buy into Post Malone's paranoia having any basis in reality, which I don't really buy; and two, for any sense of tension, it requires production that can capture that, instead of this very stiff but dreary arrangement that has no sense of urgency. And pair it with that line referencing politics and how there's no point picking sides... yeah, pass!


(no video because Post Malone)

7. 'Better Now' by Post Malone - and now we're at our last Post Malone song where the guitar is desperately trying to punch out against the trap beat and he's warble-singing about how this girl thinks she's better away from Post Malone, but that's not true because Post Malone would be there for her... but wait, he also thinks he's better without her but that's clearly a lie.. and really, the entire song is a bundle of mixed emotions that might as well have 'not over it' stamped on its face, and Post Malone's mingled attempts at flexing - which he wouldn't mention if he wasn't trying to show off even in contrast - don't help any sense of sincerity. And given how he's treated women... yeah, I'd skip this too.

So yeah, this week was pretty lousy, but it's Post Malone, how is that any surprise here! But I have to be honest, he's getting the best of the week here with 'Stay' and honourable mention for '92 Explorer'. Beyond that, for worst... really, there's so many possibilities, so I'm going to throw a tie for Dishonourable Mention with 'Over Now' and 'Takin' Shots'... because worst of the week is going to 'Ye vs. The World' with Kanye West and T.I., as an utter failure in concept and execution - at least Post Malone can put together a passable flow, my god Kanye... Anyway, given how Rae Sremmurd's newest project seems to be pretty weak on streaming - called it - we might get a cooldown week ahead, so everybody stay tuned!

No comments:

Post a Comment